How to choose a team to root for during March Madness

You know, since your bracket will likely be worthless before the first Thursday is over.

Howdy, so you’re looking for a team to root for in the NCAA tournament? You’ve come to the right place.

Your bracket is not gonna matter anymore pretty early on Thursday, or Friday if you’re lucky. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but somebody had to tell you. So instead, you might as well just figure out who you want to win the whole thing.

This is easy to figure out for some of you. Others ... not so much. But that’s alright, because I have a list of ways for you to navigate your fanhood for the month of March — and if you’re lucky, the first few days of April.

In a perfect world, you can just root for your alma mater.

If you were lucky enough to go to a basketball school like myself (Georgia State, Georgia’s best and only college basketball team), then you can just read the rest of this post for giggles.

I would just like to leave this here:

Support your school!

In the case that you can’t root for your alma mater, root for a family member’s alma mater.

Did your mom go to Oregon? Dope. Your dad went to Florida? Great, have at it. Your next line of claiming a team should probably start with a sibling, grandparents, aunts/uncles, then an endless list of cousins. This obviously doesn’t have to be a long-term deal.

Or just pick Duke or UNC.

I grew up in the greater Atlanta area, the capital of the most college football obsessed region of the country. If you drive five minutes in any direction, you’ll see at least 10 different SEC or (some) ACC schools represented.

Most of these people don’t give a crap about college basketball until March comes around, and a lot of those folks claim Duke or North Carolina because everybody likes a winner and they don’t actually care about basketball.

Or pick another typical preseason favorite.

Like Kentucky, for instance. You can’t really go wrong with Kentucky.

You could pick Auburn.

That’s a well-conditioned group.

Or, if you enjoy cognac, Arizona State.

THE SOPHOMORE OUT OF CHATSWORTH, CALIFORNIA:

Choose a team that has a player you like to watch play.

This one might point you back in the direction of Duke, because of Zion Williamson, and that’s fine.

However, there are a lot of other great players in the tournament — some that might even end the month as a March legend. If I had to pick one, Ja Morant of Murray State is an easy choice. He’s an explosive guard who is drawing comparisons to Russell Westbrook.

There’s also the Martin twins out of Nevada, who were one of the better stories of last year’s tournament by taking the Wolf Pack to the Sweet Sixteen before losing to Loyola-Chicago.

That tournament run included a 22-point comeback against Cincinnati:

They’ll be facing off against 10th-seeded Florida, which should make for a good game.

A team seeded lower than 12.

I hate to break it to you, but you aren’t some basketball genius for picking a 12 over a 5. Raise the stakes, root for a 13, 14, 15, or ...

One of the 16 seeds.

North Carolina Central, North Dakota State, Gardner-Webb, Iona, Fairleigh Dickinson, or Prairie View A&M would all be fine, but likely disappointing choices if you want to root for a team with an actual shot at winning.

Though, UMBC and Virginia proved last year that anything is possible.

A team with a good nickname.

Let’s go down the list with this group:

Gardner-Webb Runnin’ Bulldogs. Because just being the BuLLdOgS is basic.

Kansas Jayhawks. It’s not a real bird, and yet it’s kind of a cool name?

Liberty Flames. This is the only time I’ll endorse anything Liberty. The only thing flames about that place is the athletic nickname.

Marquette Golden Eagles. Not just eagles, but GOLDEN eagles.

Minnesota Golden Gophers. See above.

Murray State Racers. Good, original.

Northern Kentucky Norse. Norse is the common term for Norsemen in the early medieval period, per Wikipedia which is always right and never wrong. Weird name for a team in Highland Heights, Kentucky, but we’re going with it because it’s not Wildcats, Bulldogs, or Eagles.

Saint Louis Billikens. No, please. Allow me:

UC Irvine Anteaters. Anteaters.

Vermont Catamounts. I have so much respect for the Vermont Catamounts. They could have been any of the various cat mascots, and chose the Catamounts.

Wofford Terriers. Terriers are cute and good dogs.

Pick a fine academic institution.

Yale. Definitely Yale.

Write down the names of all the schools, and pick one out of a hat.

Kidding, that’s way too much.

Just go for the UC Irvine Anteaters ... or Georgia State.