The Eagles repeating as NFC East champs? The Seahawks and Steelers getting left out? The Panthers making it in, without Cam Newton? Here’s how they could all happen.

With just two weeks left to go in the 2018 regular season, the NFL playoff picture is, as Cher Horowitz would say, a full-on Monet. Up close, it’s a big old mess. Only five teams are officially in, just three division titles have been earned, and no one has laid claim to a first-round bye.

That means things could get weird in the final weeks of the season. Thankfully, we like weird.

What’s less fun is when your head starts spinning like you’ve had too many [insert alcoholic beverage of choice] after looking at the current playoff picture and the 1,100 words the NFL dedicates just to its tiebreaking procedures.

You just want to know how your favorite team can defy the odds and make the playoffs. Or how your most hated rival can shit the bed and then you can bask in the schadenfreude. Or maybe you’re just a Jets fan living vicariously through any sort of playoff scenario. Well, we’re here to help.

As we head into Week 16, we identified 11 playoff scenarios — six in the NFC, five in the AFC — that probably won’t happen but could, and what it would take to get there. Alas, one is already obsolete.

Then there were 10 ...

6 NFC playoff scenarios that are still possible

The Eagles win the NFC East, with a little Nick Foles deja vu

The Eagles’ best shot at making the playoffs is to win out, hope the Vikings lose a game, and sneak into the No. 6 spot in the NFC. But the defending NFC East champs can still keep the divisional crown in Philadelphia for another year, with another dose of that Nick Foles magic.

Foles, who’s filling in for Carson Wentz while he deals with a stress fracture in his back, already delivered a respectable performance in the Eagles’ upset win over the Rams. Now, he needs to do that twice more — at home against the Texans and on the road against Washington. Not easy, but it can be done. The second part of this equation is a bit tougher. The Eagles also need the Cowboys to lose out, at home to the Bucs and on the road to the Giants.

Unlikely? Yes. Impossible? Not in a world where Nick Foles is the reigning Super Bowl MVP.

The Cowboys get the No. 3 seed

The Dallas Cowboys were dealt an ugly 23-0 loss at the hands of the Indianapolis Colts last weekend, but they still control their own destiny as we march toward the postseason. That includes potentially jumping the Bears for the third seed.

If the Cowboys win out and the Bears lose out, the Cowboys will leapfrog the Bears for the third seed due to a higher percentage of wins in conference games. This will be difficult for the Cowboys to achieve, though. Dallas might be able to handle business on its end with games against the Bucs and the Giants left on their schedule, but it’s unlikely Chicago slips up against the 4-10 San Francisco 49ers in Week 16 while still trying to play for a first-round bye. A win against the 49ers would eliminate the Cowboys from competing for the third seed.

Washington makes the playoffs with Josh Johnson

It sure would be something if Washington, on its fourth quarterback following Alex Smith’s injury, Colt McCoy’s injury, and Mark Sanchez’s suckiness, crashed the playoff party. Until two weeks ago, Josh Johnson hadn’t attempted an NFL pass or started a game since 2011. Until a week ago, he had never won a game as a starter.

Washington lost in Week 16 to the Titans, which eliminates their path to the NFC East title (they needed to win out in their last two games).

Washington can still get a wild card spot, but it’s going to be tough:

• They win out and the Seahawks lose out.
• They win out and the Vikings drop a game.
• They lose to the Titans and beat the Eagles. The Eagles and Vikings both lose out. Washington needs the Eagles to lose to the Texans in Week 16, because an 8-8 Eagles team would beat an 8-8 Washington team on the common opponents tiebreaker.

The Seahawks completely implode and miss out

The Seahawks could’ve clinched a playoff berth last week. Instead, they lost to the 49ers for the first time in five years. They’ll get another chance to officially punch their ticket this week, but they’ve got a big challenge against the Chiefs.

If the Seahawks lose that one, and then drop their season finale against the Cardinals— a team that always gives them problems, for some reason — they risk being left out of the playoffs.

They would also need a little more to go against them:

• The Cowboys win at least one game.
• The Vikings and the Eagles to win out.

The 8-8 Seahawks would own a head-to-head tiebreaker over the 8-8 Cowboys or 8-8 Panthers. The Seahawks will only be on the outside if they go winless, the Cowboys finish better than 8-8, and the 9-6-1 Vikings and a 9-7 Eagles team jump them.

The Panthers make it in, without Cam Newton

Earlier this week, Ron Rivera was still optimistic about the Panthers’ chances, despite six straight losses.

One day later, his “I believe in Cam” dream was over.

Is Taylor Heinicke — a player with five career passes — going to take advantage of that “glimmer” of hope? That’s highly doubtful.

To get there, the Panthers have to win out against the Falcons and Saints to finish 8-8 and get some help. In addition to their wins, the Panthers would need:

• The Vikings to lose out against the Lions and Bears.
• The Eagles lose to the Texans in Week 16, but beat Washington in Week 17.

That’s not too complicated, but it starts with the Panthers actually winning for the first time since Week 9 — and doing so with a quarterback who has never started a game in his NFL career.

The Saints don’t get a first-round bye

Entering Week 16, the Saints are the only 12-win team in the NFL. They locked up the NFC South a couple weeks ago and are virtually guaranteed to never have to play a postseason game outside a dome — the best possible scenario for Drew Brees and a Saints offense that have seen their production dip in recent weeks away from the Superdome.

But they haven’t clinched home field yet, let alone a first-round bye. They can do both this weekend with a win. They could also drop all the way down to the No. 3 spot and be forced to play in the first weekend of January, if these three things happened over the final two weeks:

1. They lose out.
2. The Rams win out.
3. The Bears win out.

The Saints’ remaining games are home against the Steelers and Panthers, a manageable schedule but no cakewalk. If they lost both, they’d fall to 12-4.

The Rams are 11-3, but the Saints own the head-to-head tiebreaker due to their 45-35 win in Week 9. So they would need to finish with a better record than the Saints to pass them in the standings. For the first time during the regular season under Sean McVay, the Rams are on a losing streak, though it’s only two games. Their last two matchups should also get them back on track before the playoffs: at the Cardinals and at home against the 49ers, two teams with fewer combined wins than the Rams had by the end of October.

The Bears would finish at 12-4 if they beat the 49ers and Vikings, both on the road, in the final two weeks. In this scenario, that would leave them with the same record as the Saints. Because the Bears and Saints haven’t played each other this season and they belong to different divisions, the next tiebreaker would be conference record. The Saints would be 9-3 and the Bears would be 10-2.

So the final standings would look like:

1. Rams (13-3, conference record: 9-3)
2. Bears (12-4, conference record: 10-2)
3. Saints (12-4, conference record: 9-3)

And 4 more scenarios in the AFC

The Steelers miss the playoffs entirely

The Ravens are the only other team that can win the AFC North, and there are two ways they can accomplish that. The Ravens would have to either win out against the Chargers and Browns and then the Steelers lose a game (10-6 vs. 9-6-1), or the Ravens would have to win one game while the Steelers lost to both the Saints and Bengals (9-7 vs. 8-7-1).

The Ravens already beat the Chargers, so he possibility remains alive.

There’s still the final wild card spot, though. Either the Titans or Colts, who play each other in Week 17, would also have to win out if the Steelers won a game. If the Steelers dropped both games, then the winner of Titans-Colts would get in (or at the very worst, face a tiebreaker with the Dolphins, if they won out).

In other words, the Steelers are in dangerous territory if they lose their final two games of the season.

The Texans clinch the No. 1 seed in the AFC

The Texans — who, in case you had forgotten, started off the season at 0-3 — still have a path to get the top spot in the AFC. Or, we should say, paths. There are a few ways they can lock down the No. 1 seed.

1. First, the simplest way:

• They win out and the Chiefs and Chargers both lose out.

The 10-4 Texans finish the season on the road against the Eagles and at home against the Jaguars. The 11-3 Chiefs go to Seattle and then host the Raiders in Week 17. The 11-4 Chargers lost to the Ravens in LA and play the Broncos in Denver next week.

So, it’s not impossible, but it’s probably not likely.

2. Next, the slightly more complicated but still unlikely way:

• The Texans beat the Jaguars, but lose to the Eagles. The Chiefs and Chargers both lose out. The Patriots lose a game.

That would set up a three-way 11-5 tie at the top of the AFC. The Chiefs own the divisional tiebreaker over the Chargers, knocking them out of the equation and pitting the Chiefs and Texans against each other. They would have the same conference record (9-3) and they’d have the same record against common opponents (4-1). So then it’d go to the NEXT tiebreaker, which is strength of victory.

The Texans own the stronger SOV right now. If the favorites more or less win over the next two weeks (besides Chiefs/Chargers), then the Texans would maintain their edge.

They would also need the Patriots to lose to either the Bills or Jets, ensuring they wouldn’t finish at 11-5 because New England owns a head-to-head win over Houston.

3. And another one that involves the Chiefs losing to the Raiders so don’t hold your breath:

• The Texans win out, and the Chiefs lose to the Raiders but beat the Seahawks, and the Chargers drop at least a game.

In this scenario, the Texans would need the Chiefs to lose their AFC matchup so their conference records would be equal. If the Chiefs lost to the Seahawks but beat the Raiders, they’d have a superior record against AFC opponents (10-2 vs. 9-3). A loss to the Raiders would even things up and once again, the tiebreaker would go to SOV.

The Chargers already lost to the Ravens, which means this scenario is still in play.

4. The final scenario that (yes again) involves the Chiefs losing to the Raiders:

• The Texans win out, the Chiefs lose out, and the Chargers drop one of two.

The Texans would also win the tiebreaker with the Chargers if both finished at 12-4. They’d both have the same conference record, so it’d go to the next tiebreaker. With the Chargers’ loss to the Ravens, the common opponent records would be same. The tiebreaker after that would be strength of victory, which should again go to the Texans.

The Texans get left out of the playoffs

You just got through the Texans’ dream scenario, so now let’s look at the nightmare one. Because even though they’re still alive for the No. 1 seed, they also haven’t even clinched a spot in the playoffs.

Houston split its season series with both the Colts and the Titans. So if the Texans lose out in games against the Eagles and Jaguars, they’d be 10-6 with a 3-3 record in the AFC South.

That wouldn’t be enough to win the AFC South if either the Colts and Titans — who play each other in Week 17 — win their last two. Both Indianapolis and Tennessee have 3-2 records in division play and if either team reaches 10-6, the division record tiebreaker would boot the Texans.

So would 10-6 be enough to grab the last wild card berth? Probably, but it’s not a guarantee.

The Texans would be ahead of the AFC South team that lost in Week 17, and couldn’t be caught by the Dolphins. So that just leaves the Ravens.

If the Steelers beat both the Saints and Bengals in the last two weeks to finish 10-5-1, they win the AFC North. And if the Ravens beat the Browns, they’d finish 10-6.

Houston and Baltimore would then both have 8-4 records in the conference, and 4-1 records against common opponents. So it’d go to the strength of victory tiebreaker, which would probably go the Texans’ way. That’s no guarantee, though.

The Dolphins win the AFC East

With the Patriots’ loss of wide receiver Josh Gordon, the Miami Dolphins suddenly have an increased chance to win the division — though it still is unlikely. If they can win out and have the Patriots lose out, the Dolphins will win the AFC East and play a home playoff game in the Wild Card Round.

Unfortunately for the Dolphins, the Patriots have two layup games on their schedule to close the year. They have two home games left against the Buffalo Bills and the New York Jets — two of the worst teams in the league featuring rookie quarterbacks. Even without Gordon, the Patriots should be expected to handily win those games.

The Dolphins have a bit of a tougher go. They get a home game against the Jaguars, who do still have a good defense, and then go on the road to play the Bills.

Miami currently holds the ninth seed in the AFC playoff race. If they don’t win the division, they’ll still likely need to win out to make the playoffs. Even then, it’s no guarantee.

It looks like it’s division title or bust for the Dolphins, which always feels a bit bleak with Tom Brady and Bill Belichick sitting atop the division.

The 1 that can’t happen anymore

The Browns get in ... thanks to a tie

Update: It’s not going to happen. They needed the Titans to lose to Washington this week.

The good news: It’s Week 16 and the Browns are still alive! That’s wild after a 1-15 season in 2016 and a winless 2017.

The bad news: It would take the miracle of all NFL miracles to actually get a spot.

Cleveland’s only shot is if the season ended exactly like this:

1. Washington beats the Titans (Week 16)
2. Chargers beat the Ravens (Week 16)
3. Giants beat the Colts (Week 16)
4. Browns beat the Bengals (Week 16)
5. Dolphins lose to Jaguars or Bills (Weeks 16/17)
6. Browns beat the Ravens (Week 17)
7. Titans and Colts tie(Week 17)

Yep. The season has to end with the Titans and Colts blowing their chance at the playoffs by not going for broke in overtime of Week 17. That’s — uh — definitely not going to happen.

It’s cool that the Browns even have a chance to dream, though.